How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping

Choosing to elope is a big and very personal decision. Whether you’re eloping with your hiking boots on at sunrise, saying vows on a mountain’s edge, or just keeping things beautifully simple, the why behind your decision matters.

But then comes the question that’s often a little harder to navigate, that a lot of my couples ask me: How to tell your family you’re eloping? 

The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Family dynamics can be complicated. Whether it’s concern about hurt feelings, pressure to include certain people, or just straight-up knowing your family would try to crash the party, this part of the planning process can bring a lot of emotional weight. So, let’s talk about it.

You’re Not Doing This To Anyone. You’re Doing It For Yourselves.

You’re not selfish or trying to be difficult for choosing to elope. It’s also not about excluding people for the sake of it. It’s about creating a wedding day that actually reflects your relationship and your values. 

Whether you’re choosing to elope because…

• big weddings just don’t feel like you,
• you’d rather invest that money in a house or an epic honeymoon,
• you want to avoid family drama,
• the thought of being center-stage in front of 100 people makes you want to crawl under a rock,
• simply your dream is to say your vows under a mountain sunrise with just your partner (and maybe your pup) beside you.

Whatever your reason is, it is absolutely valid. And you don’t need permission to elope in a way that feels right. And usually, explaining these reasons helps people around you understand why you’re choosing to elope, as well!

Why Does This Decision Feel So Hard?

Telling your family you’re eloping can feel scary. Maybe you’re worried they won’t understand, or worse, try to talk you out of it. You might even be dreading the guilt trips, emotional calls, or the classic “but what about your aunt Susan’s feelings?” comments.

And if you know your family would try to pry into your plans or, let’s be honest, show up uninvited, it makes perfect sense to wait until after the elopement to share the news. Some couples want to be fully present on their day without buzzing phones, unsolicited opinions, or pressure to include anyone else. And that is 100% okay.

How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping

There are a few ways to approach this, depending on your relationship, your timing, and how much you feel like sharing.

Plant the Seed Early

If you’re still months away from eloping, you can start dropping hints. Bring it up casually. Let them know you’re leaning toward something smaller, more personal, more outdoorsy. This gives people time to adjust to the idea before it’s happening.

Tell Them Before the Elopement

You can host an engagement party or a regular dinner with your loved ones and tell them your decision straight away. You can share all the details you have or keep things a bit more vague if that feels right for you. 

Tell Them After the Elopement

You can absolutely wait until it’s done and say, “Surprise! We got married!”

This works especially well if you think people might push back or stress you out before the big day. You can announce it through a social post, a printed postcard, or even a photo album delivered to their mailbox. 

You can also host a party after your elopement to share the big news and maybe even a slideshow of your pics or videos if you have them!

Should You Invite People to Your Elopement?

If you’re still debating this decision, I will say there is no right answer. Some couples want their day to be just the two of them and nature, and that’s perfect. Others can’t imagine getting married without their parents, siblings, or a few close friends present, and that’s cool too!

Many of my couples have ended up inviting a handful of loved ones to be part of the ceremony or a portion of the day. Just know that having guests can shift some of the logistics. For example, certain elopement spots have guest limits (some allow no more than 10 people), and your timeline may need to look a little different to include group photos or shared travel. But don’t worry, we can absolutely make it work!

You don’t need to invite everyone just to keep things “even.” If having your mom there feels essential, but including your cousin doesn’t? That’s okay! Family dynamics can be tricky, and sometimes it really is easier to keep it just the two of you. The people who love you will understand and support your decision no matter what.

How To Include Your Loved Ones if You Choose To?

These days, eloping doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate with your loved ones. It just means you get to choose the HOW and WHEN.

You can:

• Invite a few guests to your ceremony.
  
• Have your family write letters to read during your elopement.
  
• Host a dinner or party after the fact (think backyard BBQ, beach bonfire, or cozy Airbnb gathering).
  
• Include family heirlooms in your elopement details, like wearing your mother’s earrings or sewing a part of your grandmother’s dress into your dress.
  
• Call your family from your Airbnb after your ceremony.
  
• Live stream your elopement ceremony (might not always be possible due to cell service in outdoorsy locations!)
  
• Share a slideshow or video from your day at a future celebration.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, this is about you two, your marriage and your adventure. However you choose to tell your family (or not tell them until after) you deserve to celebrate your love in a way that feels authentic, stress-free, and freaking unforgettable. 

And if you need someone in your corner helping with timelines, location scouting, and navigating permits and family dynamics… well, I’ve got you covered. Ready to start planning your dream Colorado elopement? Let’s do this! You can check out my Colorado elopement packages here and reach out to me when you’re ready!

If you’re planning a Colorado elopement, you may also like:

• Local’s Guide to the Best Colorado Elopement Locations
• How to Elope in Colorado